CINA

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Following "report", published in today's Chosun Ilbo MUST be an April Fools' joke(*):

Kim Jong-il's Son Feels Japan's Reaction 'Justified'

North Korean leader Kim Jong-il's eldest son Kim Jong-nam has said he believe Japan's reaction to the North's impending rocket launch "justified" for self-protection, Fuji TV reported Tuesday. The cable news channel interviewed Kim's eldest son on Monday at Beijing International Airport and in Macau.

Kim had been asked whether the Japanese government was overreacting. The questioner did not directly mention the missile launch, but Fuji TV said Kim's reply was surprising since North Korea warned on Mar. 9 that shooting down the missile would be tantamount to a declaration of war.

When the reporter asked Kim why North Korea was bent on launching a missile at this moment, he said he did not know but felt the timing must be connected to the six-party nuclear disarmament talks and direct dialogue with the United States.

When the reporter said Kim senior looks pale and emaciated, Kim responded, "As you know, you lose weight as you grow older. Isn't it better to be thin than to be fat? Perhaps father was tired because of his overwhelming workload."

http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200904/200904010014.html

* Just y'day KCNA Blasted Japan's Anti-DPRK Ruckus! And the very angry pamphlet ended with the warning: "Should Japan dare recklessly intercept the DPRK's satellite, the KPA will consider this as the start of Japan's war of reinvasion... and mercilessly destroy all its interceptor means and citadels with the most powerful military means!"

But possibly it has been also just an April Fool's joke (but a little premature!)??(^^)

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While N.K. is (likely) only few days away from launching its Taepodong-2/"Eunha-2" ICBM/"satellite" rocket, the War Ministry in Tokyo got a "exceptional creative" idea(*):

Japan will order its "Self Defense Forces" to destroy N.K.'s missile if it's launched, Asahi Shimbun newspaper reported yesterday.
   The decision was made at a meeting of some related ministers, including the foreign minister and defense minister, the report said, adding that Japan will convene a security council meeting Friday to finalize its position on North Korea's planned missile launch.
   The report said the "Defense" Ministry will deploy surface-to-air interceptor missile systems, aka the Patriot Advanced Capability 3 (PAC-3), in Akita and Iwate prefectures...

* Well, in fact the idea isn't unique, not really! The U.S. administration previously also suggested possible measures to intercept the projectile, but is currently showing discretion while speaking sternly of possible sanctions by the UNSC. But simultaneously Washington is sending warships to the area near the Korean Peninsula!

Related articles:

☞ N. Korea 'days away' from launching missile (Guardian, 3.26)

☞ Warships on Alert Over NK 'Rocket' Launch (K. Times, 3.26)

☞ Pentagon tempted by North Korean launch (Asia Times, 3.14)

☞ Problems beset North launch plans (JoongAng Ilbo, 2.26)

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Yeah, dear Brilliant General, The Sun of the 21st Century - YOU've got it!

Last night, during another session with various int'l alcoholic specialities, the DEAR LEADER suddenly got the answer (by HIMSELF alone!!) for HIS question  "Why - TFH - the Korean people need American 'food aid'?" HE asked HIMSELF the night before!

1. As HE had to learn from Joseon Tongshin (KCNA) only one day before: The DPRK is Ever-victorious! "Why certainly! Because the Koreans - unfortunately only here the North - are well-fed with the Juche-Idea and the policy of Songun!!", HE recapitulated..

2. The (likely) main reason why the Koreans - unfortunately only in the North - don't need the food "aid" from the American bastards: "Almost one month ago, in celebration of MY birthday, I gave forsooth magnanimous presents to almost all Koreans...

 
..(Of course except the members of the hostile class! But they can be happy that they're not executed..!!^^). And for the coming 12 month, until MY next birthday..

..it should be enough for them!!!"

Related:
☞ North Korea turns down US food aid (Guardian, 3.18)

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Well, the Dear Leader (aka The Great General Kim Jong-il) is now utterly fed up with the recusant attitude by the new U.S. administration (aka the Criminal/Trigger-happy Obama-Clinton-Gang), according to today's int'l news.

And so HE decided to punish them until they'll pay tribute (sincerely and devout!!) to HIM (The Sun of the 21st Century) - once and for all!!

The first step: The D.P.R.K. will reject from now any food "aid", "provided" by the U.S. imperialst bastards! And by the end of March the so-called NGOs (i.e. the CIA etc.), "responsible for the distribution of the food aid", will be kicked out - mercilessly!

Related articles:
☞ North Korea refuses US food aid (BBC, 3.18)
☞ Q+A: Why is hungry North Korea refusing U.S. food aid? (Reuters, 3.18)
☞ At the Heart of N.K.'s Troubles, an Intractable Hunger Crisis (WaPo, 3.06)

 
PS:
Last night the Dear Leader (after enjoying a bottle of Hennessy, mixed with Jinro Soju!!) asked HIMSELF: "Why - TFH - the Korean people need American 'food aid'?"

Of course, the answer you'll get here - sooner or later!

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One of today's int'l TOP news (e.g. in The Guardian, UK):

For millions of undernourished North Koreans, the notion of eating at a restaurant belongs strictly to the world of fantasy. And so there is only the grimmest humour in the news that, for the country's ruling elite, Pyeongyang's dining options just got a little more impressive:

After 10 years of leader's heroic struggle,

pizza comes to North Korea

An obsession with pizza stretching back at least 10 years prompted the isolated nation's dictator, Kim Jong-il, to authorise North Korea's first Italian restaurant, which opened in December, according to a pro-Pyongyang newspaper published in Japan. "General Kim Jong-il said that the people should also be allowed access to the world's famous dishes," the restaurant's manager, Kim Sang-Soon, was quoted as saying in Choson Sinbo, a Tokyo-based newspaper seen as a mouthpiece for the regime.

Those dining at the restaurant are reportedly treated to pizza and pasta made with wheat flour, butter and cheese flown in from Italy. They are also presumably reaping the benefits of a years-long effort by Kim Jong-il to bring the perfect pizza to his famine-plagued totalitarian state.

In the late 1990s, he summoned a team of Italian pizza chefs to Pyongyang to instruct army officers. One of the chefs, Ermanno Furlanis, later recounted how the Italians underwent x-rays, brain scans and urine and blood sampling on arrival, before being sequestered in a marble palace. One of the officers Furlanis was training asked him to specify the precise distance at which olives should be spaced on a pizza, he recalled.

Kim seems to have taken a personal interest: while the pizza-making sessions were under way, on a ship anchored offshore, he was apparently witnessed arriving to inspect his officers' progress. "I am not in the position to say whether it really was him," Furlanis later said. "But our chef, who had no reason to fib, was, for the space of several minutes, utterly speechless. He said he felt as if he had seen God, and I still envy him this experience."

The training seems not to have met Kim's expectations. According to Choson Sinbo, subsequent efforts to reproduce Italian pizza in North Korea were a process of "repeated trial and error", and last year the dictator sent chefs to Naples and Rome to learn more. Finally satisifed, he authorised the restaurant.

North Korea, one of the world's poorest countries, was hit by devastating famine in the mid-1990s, with up to 2m people dying, primarily from pneumonia, tuberculosis and diarrhoea.

But Kim's passion for fine food is legendary: he is said to be a connoisseur of cognac, French wine, shark-fin soup and sushi. One of his former chefs, writing under a pseudonym, recalled travelling to Iran and Uzbekistan to fetch caviar, flying to Denmark for bacon and China for melons and grapes. He defected, he wrote, by offering to source sea urchins from Japan, from where he never returned...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/16/north-korea-pizza

Related articles:
☞ North Korea launches "perfect" Italian pizza (Telegraph, UK)

☞ I MADE PIZZA FOR KIM JONG-IL/Part 1: Welcome to megalopolis  

☞ I MADE PIZZA FOR KIM JONG-IL/Part 2: Hot ovens at the seaside

☞ I MADE PIZZA FOR KIM JONG-IL/Part 3: The great man eats (A. Times, 2001)

Also (somehow^^) related:
☞ The Great General's "Birthday Gifts", 2009 (DailyNK, 3.16)

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A NEW EPOCHAL VICTORY FOR THE DEMOCRACY

While y'day the entire international democratic and peace-loving community feared for the political fate of the Dear Leader, the Great General Kim Jong-il (The World's Most Brilliant Commander, the Sun of the 21st Century etc, etc..) - surprisingly - was re-elected by the voters in HIS constituency (*) to the D.P.R.K.'s parliament, the Supreme People's Assembly.

Although HE has been elected by only 100 percent of the voters, it's - once again - a epochal victory for the Korean (north AND south!!) and int'l Revolutionary Democratic Movement!!

And in gratitude to HIS voters, the entire Korean nation and all the peace-loving peoples all over the world - immediately after HIS election - HE vowed (via a new statement by the General Staff of the KPA) to exterminate the US-Imperialism and its puppet regime in Seoul as soon as possible (they only must give HIM a good reason!!).

* The int'l media wrote today that HE has been elected in the constituency 333. But that's a mistake, likely based on a typo by KCNA. In fact it's - of course - the constituency 666!

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Last Friday's top headline in Korea Times (online edition):

US Ready to Intercept NK Missile

And only one day later Korea Herald reported following:

The commander of U.S. forces in Asia and the Pacific said that the U.S. military is

prepared to shoot down any North Korean ballistic missile if President Barack

Obama should give the order.
   "If a missile leaves the launch pad we'll be prepared to respond upon direction of

the president," Adm. Timothy Keating said in an interview with ABC News.
"Should it look like it's not a satellite launch -- that it's something other than a

satellite launch -- we'll be ready to respond," he said.
   Keating, who commands forces that include 28,000 troops in South Korea and

50,000 in Japan, said that the military is ready to respond with at least five

different systems: destroyer, Aegis cruiser, radar, space-based system and

ground-based interceptor. All of these work in conjunction with one another to

protect against any missile threat...

But, no problem for Pyeongyang! Because (as Yonhap headlined today) N. Korea says:

We're ready for war..(!!)

Related:
☞ Pyongyang plays the puppet master  (Asia Times, 2.28)

PS:
And - of course - the relationship between Pyeongyang and Seoul is still dominated by "misconceptions"(^^), as you can read in the following lines:

''What protects North Korea are not nuclear weapons and missiles, but

cooperation with the South and the international community," LeeMB said on Sunday in a speech marking the 90th anniversary of the '3.1 Movement for Independence (from the Japanese colonial rule)'. "The door to unconditional dialogue remains open," he said. "The South and North should hold a dialogue at an early date."

However only one day later Pyeongyang, via the 'Committee for the Peaceful(^^) Reunification of Korea'(CPRK), immediately replied with a clear:

"FUCK YOU!"(^^OWTTE)

In CPRK's words: "Lee should refrain from resorting to such foolish tricks any longer and step down from power at an early date..! It will be the only way for normalizing the inter-Korean relations."

Related articles:
☞ North Korea warned of missile fall-out (Asia Times, 3.03)

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Yesterday the (North) Korean Committee of Space Technology announced that the "Preparations for Launch of Experimental Communications Satellite (are) in Full Gear"!! The name of the strange object: Gwangmyeongseong-2 (*), transported by the Eunha-2 missile.

But while the N.K. propaganda asserts that the launch of the "satellite" (**) is "essential for the construction of the socialist economic power in Korea" (KCNA), at the same time in the Communist Party of China circulate N.K. jokes, like following:

金正日万岁!

Comrade Jeong Man-yong, a farmer at an agriculture "collective" in the D.P.R.K., catches a large fish in the river. Exalted, comrade Jeong comes back home and asks his wife to fry the fish.
“We can have fried-fish for dinner!” said Jeong.
“But we don’t have oil.” countered his wife.
“Then, let’s have steamed fish.”
“We don’t have an iron pot either!”
“OK, then let's just grill it.”
“There is no firewood.”
Angrily Jung goes back to the river and lets the fish go free.
The fish circles around and jumps out of the water, yelling “Long live the General Kim Jong Il!”

김정일 장군님 만세!

* Gwangmyeongseong-1, according to KCNA, was launched 1998.8.31(well, untill now nobody in the int'l military/aerospace agencies has been able to detect the "satellite" visually, by radar, or to pick up its radio signals..) and until now, also according to KCNA, it's transmitting the melody of "Song of General Kim Il-sung" and "Song of General Kim Jong-il" and the Morse signals "Juche Korea" (very useful!!^^).

** Well, nobody believes in N.K.'s fable about the "satellite"! In fact almost everyone (in the int'l military/aerospace community) believes it will be just a new North Korean ICBM (Taepodong-2) test..

Related articles:

☞ Q+A: Why would N.K. test-fire its missiles? (Reuters, 2.24)

☞ North Korea has begun a game of “satellite” (Hankyoreh/analysis, 2.25)

☞ U.S. in 3-Stage Response to N.Korea 'Missile Test' (Chosun Ilbo, 2.25)

☞ Breaking the cycle of brinkmanship (Hankyoreh/editorial, 2.25)

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While the rhetoric between N.K. and S.K. is becoming more and more - to put it mildly - icy (N.K.: "The KPA is ready for an all-out war against the puppet military in the south", "The Korean Peninsula is on the brink of war" etc../S.K.: "We'll retaliate and punish merciless any attack from the North!" etc..) some U.S. politicians, analysts and military officers recently presented a real maverick idea how to deal with a possible Taepodong-(ICB)missle test: "Be ready to strike and destroy North Korea's missile test!" (Foreign Policy, 2.17). (*)

Well, that's really a f****** great idea! (^^)

Firstly it would be a very good opprtunity to test capacity of the U.S. missile defense system (in real life, in real time^^)!!

Secondly - undoubtedly - it will open up complete new perspectives in the U.S.-D.P.R.K. relationship!!! (^^)

* To be sure, some of the hardliners in the S.K. ruling class are sympathizing with this idea (!!??):
☞ U.S. Warns It May Shoot Down N.Korean Missile (Chosun Ilbo, 2.12)

But, please dear U.S. Imperialists (incl. your puppet 'gov't' in Seoul), be careful!!

Because "the vengeance by the D.P.R.K. will be without any mercy":

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Today Kim Jong-il, the "Dear Leader" of the D.P.R.K., the "Sun of the 21st Century", the "Beloved Father of the Korean Nation" (*), the "Greatest Commander on Earth, Created in Heaven" etc., etc... celebrates his 67th birthday!

 
And with him - of course - the entire world pupulation is celebrating, according to KCNA

But despite Don Kirk's prediction that the Dear Leader's party will be a blast (Asia Times, 2.14) so far there's nothing special going on. No Taepodong missile attack against Alaska/USA, no naval battle in the Yellow Sea... What a drag!! (**)

* The "Korean Nation" means - of course - the entire Korean nation, incl. S. Korea!!
** But it might be that the "Dear Leader" is celebrating his birthday with binge drinking... and tomorrow he'll be screwed! And sooner or later he'll bite the dust - hopefully!