책임지지 못할 블로그

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진보넷 블로그를 들락거린지 어언.... 두달이 됐다.

그동안 블로그홈 메인 페이지에 있는 글들을 클릭해서 읽으면서

시간이 진짜 잘 간다는 사실에 감탄하며

진짜 내 앞에 닥친 현실로부터의 달콤한 도피를 즐기곤 했다.

그러면서 계속 떠오르는 질문.

이 사람들은 서로 다 아는 사이인가???

요 아이디가 저 블로그에 가면 댓글을 달고 있고,

그 블로그 쥔장은 다음날 들어간 어떤 블로그 쥔장이랑 친구고

그 블로그에서 트랙백 타고 갔더니만 엊그제 본 아이디가 반말로 댓글달아놓았고

그리고 그 밑으로 줄줄이 달린 댓글은

어제 본 아이디

그제 본 아이디

오늘 딴데서 본 아이디

언젠가 어디선가 본 아이디! 인 것이다.

여기 있는 블로거들을

아무도 모르는 사람은

나 뿐인거야?

나만 외로운거?

ㅡㅁㅡ

(나도 싸이월드 가면 일촌 많다구.... ㅋㅋ)

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침묵하는 것도 죄가 되는 사람들이 있다.

말을 배운 사람. 말 할 줄 아는 사람.

지금 무슨 말을 어떻게 해야 할 줄 알면서

여러가지(?) 복잡한(?) 이유들 때문에

그 말을 입밖으로 내지 '않기로' 한 사람.

누가 그러더라.

지식인이란, 자기 자신을 말로써 표현할 수 있는 사람들이라고.

그들에게 책임감이 있다면,

그 표현할 줄 아는 능력을

자기가 침묵할 수밖에 없는 이유에 대한 변명거리를 창조하는 데 쓸 것이 아니라

말하는 데 서툰 많은 옆사람들 대신에

그들이 하고 싶은 말까지 해주어야 한다.

그게 각자 밥값 하고 사는 길 아닐까 싶다.

(너무 조용한 어떤 분을 떠올리며...)

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HAVANA
Year of Agriculture (1965)

Fidel:

I remember many things in this hour—how I met you in the house of María Antonia, and how you proposed that I come with you, and all the strain of the preparations.

One day they passed by to ask who would be advised in case of the death, and the real possibility of it struck all of us. Later we knew that it was true, that in a revolution one triumphs or dies (if it be a true one). Many comrades were left along the road to victory.

Today everything has a less dramatic tone, for we are more mature, but the event is repeating itself. I feel that I have fulfilled the part of my duty that bound me to the Cuban Revolution on its territory, and I take my farewell of you, my comrades and your people who are now my people.

I formally renounce my posts in the leadership of the Party, my post as Minister, my rank as Major, my status as a Cuban citizen. Nothing legal binds me to Cuba, only ties of another kind that cannot be broken, as can official appointments. Looking back over my past life, I believe that I have worked with sufficient faithfulness and dedication in order to consolidate the revolutionary triumph. My only deficiency of any import!!!ance is not to have trusted you more from those first moments in the Sierra Maestra and in not having understood soon enough your qualities of leader and revolutionary.

I have lived through magnificent days and at your side I felt the pride of belonging to our people in the luminous and sad days of the Caribbean Crisis. Rarely has any statesman shone more brilliantly than you did in those days. I feel pride, too, in having followed you without hesitation, identifying myself with your way of thinking and seeing and of judging dangers and motives.

Other regions of the world claim the support of my modest efforts. I can do what is forbidden to you because of your responsibility to Cuba, and the time has come for us to separate.

Let it be known that I do it with a mixture of joy and sorrow: I am leaving here the purest of my hopes as a builder and the most loved among my beloved creatures, and I leave a people who accepted me as a son; this rends a part of my spirit. On new battlefields I will carry with me the faith that you inculcated in me, the revolutionary spirit of my people, the feeling of having fulfilled the most sacred of duties: to fight against imperialism wherever it may be; this comforts and heals any wound to a great extent.

I say once more that I free Cuba of any responsibility save that which stems from its example: that if the final hour comes upon me under other skies, my last thought will be for this people and especially for you, that I am thankful to you for your teachings and your example, and that I will try to be faithful up to the final consequences of my acts; that I have at all times been identified with the foreign policy of our Revolution, and I continue to be so; that wherever I may end up I will feel the responsibility of being a Cuban revolutionary, and I will act as one; that I leave nothing material to my children and my wife, and this does not grieve me: I am glad that it be so; that I ask nothing for them, since the State will give them sufficient to live and will educate them.

I would have many things to say to you and to our people, but I feel that they are unnecessary; words cannot express what I would want them to, and it isn’t worthwhile wasting more sheets of paper with my scribbling.

To victory forever. Patria o Muerte!

I embrace you with all my revolutionary fervor!